Jenny Gray, LCSW

Wherever you are in your life, I will meet you with respect and care as we explore your needs with curiosity and compassion. I am Jenny Gray, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice. I see clients in-person or online in Cottonwood, Arizona and I see California clients online. I'm passionate about helping both couples and individuals learn to understand themselves better to foster more satisfying lives and more fulfilling relationships. For Couples: "Are you there for me? Will you be there when I reach for you? Do you care?" These are the implicit questions underlying our basic human needs for connection. Research has shown that when we feel these needs are not being met, we will often "pursue" our partners or "withdraw" from them. Pursuing often looks like being angry, critical, and demanding of our partners. Withdrawing can look like shutting down, not communicating, or getting defensive. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we believe these actions create an ongoing pattern of pain and disconnection. This pattern is what we call the negative cycle which takes over the relationship. This pursue/withdraw cycle is very common in relationships. We begin couples counseling by learning about each partner's moves in this cycle, and by exploring what happens for partners when they get triggered by each other. As both partners explore their experience, and the emotions underlying their behavior, they begin to see themselves and each other in a new light and can communicate quite differently. Each partner can learn to share their experiences underneath the anger and defensiveness. This builds emotional safety, trust, and connection. Research studies show that this Emotionally Focused Therapy is the most effective approach within couple's therapy, as it can decrease marital distress, increase emotional safety, and create more connection between partners. It gets to the "heart of the matter," and can create lasting change. For Individuals: I also find it rewarding and fruitful working with adult individuals. Are you feeling anxious, sad, or stuck in your life? Do you struggle to create the life that you want? I firmly believe that we can all benefit from counseling at some point in our lives. Depending on your needs and goals we can use Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy, or other modalities to explore the underlying thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behavior that might be preventing you from achieving the life you want. Acceptance Commitment Therapy can be a powerful tool to help you learn to recognize and defuse unhelpful thoughts, learn to stay present with what might be uncomfortable at times, and discover your values and goals and take action towards the meaningful life you desire. I am passionate about this work, and grateful to be able to support people on their journey to a more fulfilling life and more rewarding relationships.